


Smarter Than Some (Only Sometimes)

by CryptidKid2020



Series: Abandoned/Unfinished Works :( [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, and they wrote letters, oh my god they wrote letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-26 15:07:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryptidKid2020/pseuds/CryptidKid2020
Summary: With the nearly twenty-two years they've known each other, starting with letters, a horrible first meeting and two apocalypses, Newton and Hermann have lived through hell and hell. So, this is the narrative of the two stubborn scientist’s lengthy relationship.(A soulmate Au with my take on the years between Hermann's and Newton's relationship throughout the years, set before the first movie all the way past PR: Uprising.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, soulmate Au's are like my jam and I had never written one before this so enjoy. 
> 
> German Translations:  
> Seelenfreund=Soulmate  
> mein knabe=My Boy  
> herzlichen glückwunsch zum geburtstag=Happy Birthday

**1998, January 19 th **

A small child sits alone, equipped with a blanket cocooning his shaking frame as he smothers his cries into his pillow. Caught in his own world of misery the child misses as a large yet comforting hand rubs at his back, calming down the boys muted sobs and tremors.

“Try to breath Newton, I can’t have you passing out on me on your own birthday,” Gently coaches the boy’s uncle, attempting to joke at the end to cheer up his nephew.

Newton buries himself deeper into his blanketed sanctuary but follows his uncle’s advice and tries to level out his breathing. The boy gravitates towards his uncle as the man sits down next to Newton, his tears already starting to fade away and the shakiness dumbing down.

“Illia?” Speaks up Newton disturbing the silence, his voice tight with the possibility of another onslaught of tears.

“Yes, my boy, what is causing you tragedy?” His Uncle questions, taking notice on how Newton rubs harshly at his arms under the blanket.

“They hurt Illia, you told me they aren’t supposed to hurt you,” Newton angrily sniffles, his demeanor changing from one of pained misery to one of betrayal and anger.

Confused about his nephew’s anger, Illia pulls Newton’s shivering frame into a hug. “What hurts Newton? Please tell me, I don’t understand,” He asks.

“My words of _seelenfreund_!” Newton shouts as he rips the blanket off himself revealing scratched raw and red arms and legs, multiple stark black words littering the boy’s limbs.

The foretold ill-natured words from his soulmate wrapped and forever inscribed into the boy’s skin.

Just like everybody else has. . . except Newton's limbs carry more calloused words than ever before documented.

Illia’s wide eyes drift downwards as he reads the words written on Newton's skin.

**‘ _Please do stop apologizing, I don’t care,_ ’ **

**‘ _I can’t love you!’_ **

**‘ _You thought wrong Newton,_ ’ **

**‘ _I also lied Newton,_ ’  **

**‘ _You’ve wasted your life with this Newton,_ ’ **

**‘ _You’ll kill yourself, Newton,_ ’ **

**‘ _So, you won’t help me?_ ’  **

**‘ _You’re a good man Newton,”_  **

**‘ _I’ve been in your mind, Newton,_ ’     **

**‘ _I was so angry at you for ten years Newt_ ,’ **

**‘ _Did I only ever hurt you?_ ’**

**‘ _I’m sorry that I loved you too much,_ ’ **

“I have so many,” Newton shakily laughs, the boy sounding much older than his current age of eight years. “Whoever they are, they must hate me. I haven’t even met them, and they’re already destined to hate me!” Newton cries, his sudden change in emotion shocking his uncle from reading Newton’s soulmate’s words.

Nearly crushing his nephew in a comforting hug, Illia frowns deepens as he hears Newton's heart wrenching sobbing start again. Mentally shaking away the shock and confusion at the amount of words Newton body carries, he kisses the top of Newton's head before pulling the boy away from him.

“Hush down _mein knabe,_ ” Kindly shushes Illia, softly tilting Newtons head upwards to look up at him. “This doesn’t all mean hatred, some means love—love can hurt Newt, but it can work out—you and them will work it out. To love is to share pain Newton,” He admits, offering the boy a soft smile as he kisses Newton on the forehead before pulling him into another hug.

Newton clings onto his uncle as his crying fit once again tapers off. Rubbing at the newly formed words on his arms another question pops into his head, “Why do our soulmarks only show us the bad?”

Illia huffs out a quiet laugh at Newtons question, “I have no idea, it’s always been like that,” He replies truthy before continuing, “I always liked to think that our souls show us the words that mean the most to us, words that connect us to our _seelenfreunds_.”

“How does it know which ones are the most meaningful? Most are terrible and hurtful, why would our biology show us the bad?” Newton questions, tracing over the least sensitive words.

“Our biology and _seelenfreunds_ are confusing. However, we remember certain words by those who are important to us—and if that is true, it just means that whoever your soulmate is, means a lot to you. That’s why they must leave so many words upon your skin,” Illia answers Newton.

Newton opens his mouth to respond but lets out a yawn instead, to which Illia laughs softly as he untangles Newton’s grip on him and sets him back to bed.

“ _Herzlichen glückwunsch zum geburtstag mein knabe._ Don’t you worry about your soulmate, they’ll love you just as much as you will,” Illia tells his near asleep nephew, unaware of another set of words appearing onto the back of the boy’s hand.

**‘ _I love you Newton,_ ’**

* * *

 

 **1997, June 9 th  ** 

Sitting in the pitch-black solitude of night, a child sits silently as he absentmindedly goes over newly inscribed and sensitive writing along his limbs. Staring blankly across his room at his pristine chalkboard he was gifted hours previously. In what little lighting the moon offers, the boy glances down at his soulmates words with a sad sneer.

**‘ _I’m sorry,_ ’**

**‘ _Fuck you,_ ’**

**‘ _I thought it would’ve stopped by now,_ ’ **

**‘ _I lied about loving you,_ ’**

**‘ _At least I admit it Hermann,_ ’**

**‘ _I’d like you to know that it’s all your fault,_ ’**

**‘ _Hermann, I gotta stop you, none of this matters,_ ’**

**‘ _I don’t care, you don’t mean anything to me anymore,_ ’**

**‘ _I’m so sorry Hermann, they’re in my head,_ ’**

**‘ _I was forced to hate you for ten years, Herms,_ ’  **

**‘ _Being hurt is feeling love Hermann,_ ’**

**‘ _Unlike you, I’m not going to apologize for loving you,_ ’ **

Reading over his soulmates words his light tracing becomes one of rough scratching. ‘ _People are only supposed to have one—four at the most._ ’ Remembering what his mother and father told him earlier when _more_ than six started to appear.

‘ _This is impossible Lars, what does this even mean?’_ His mother’s cry echoing through his memory.

Hermann ignores the tremor that begins as his memory continues to play in his mind.

‘ _He can’t be loved,’_ Said his brother.

‘ _Soul abused and broken,’_ Said his older sister.

‘ _He’s defective,’_ Said his youngest brother.

‘ _It means he’s to have a love that can only hate and never love him back,_ ’ Admitted his father, the memory fading away as his family looks down at him with pity.

He muffles a sob as he gently traces over the latest to appear. His family didn’t get to see the last bit of words as it appeared an hour later after he ran off, he cried when he was alone, cried as to why this was happening to him, silently screamed at the unfairness of future absence in love.

People could have the worst written on them, but I’d be just a couple words; one sentence to know who your soulmate is. Not _twelve_ individual phrases that each on their own could shatter the heart of a grown adults, let alone the heart of an eight-year-old.

For an hour Hermann lets his world crumble before him, his soulmates foretold words washing over him in a tidal wave of misery and confusion. He moved himself to lay down and forget his horrid birthday. But in his movement, the back of his hand prickled in familiarity that the other words didn’t.

Frozen in fear and excitement, he managed to hold his hand out in front of his face.

He felt as if his body was dropped in a tub of hot water as he read over the new words inscribed into him.

**‘ _I love you Hermann_ ,’**

Still staying silent, Hermann let himself cry again; happy to know there still could be love for him, a chance between him and his soulmate. He falls asleep with his hand clutched in is other hand, feeling a warmth and an absence of loneliness in what seemed like ages.


	2. The First Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the first set of words spoken through the collection of letters/emails, Hermann's and Newton's relationship builds to one more of just a friendly correspondence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My take on the letters and emails of their lengthy rapport with one another. I'm sappy about letter writing and relationship building.
> 
> (In the Beginning, the first few are letters and the rest are emails and text messages.)

**2013, October 12 th**

Dear Dr. Geiszler,

I am Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, an analyst of mathematics and applied sciences. With the latest onslaught of Kaiju attacks around the world, I’ve become interested in researching such. I was referred to contact you for further information and to hopefully establish a correspondence with you about the Kaiju’s If you’d like. I would appreciate you responding back as soon as you are able to.

Kind regards,

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb

**2013, October 15 th**

Dear Hermann,

Please call me Newton, only very few call me doctor and it seems weird for you to do the same. I’m sorry for writing back a few days late, hope it doesn’t affect our correspondence as I would very much like to continue writing to you. I’ve read some of your most recent studies, I too agree that with your theory of dimensional physics and the possibility of an interdimensional rift within the Ring of Fire. If you’d still like to write to me, please do write back when you can.

With politeness,

Newton Geiszler

**2013, November 16 th**

Dear Dr. Geiszler,

I’d like to thank you for sending me the paperwork I asked of you, hopefully, it wasn’t too inconvenient for you to have done so. Please do attempt to address me correctly, and to write back soon.

Respectfully,

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb

**2013, November 19 th **

Dear Hermann,

I’m so glad you got it so fast, it’s amazing how quick the mailing system still works these days. It was no problem besides needing to tidy up my place to find them all, do hope they help you out more than they did for me. No can do for the name Herms, as I think the both of us would start to hate the formality within our continuous correspondence. Hope to hear back from you soon.

With kindship,

Newton Geiszler

**2013, December 24 th**

Dear Hermann,

Happy Holiday’s! Do write back when you get my gift.

With holiday cheer, Newton Geiszler

**2013, December 27 th**

Dear Geiszler,

Wish you a belated happy holidays. I just received your gift, and you really shouldn’t have, however, do really appreciate it. My gift to you shall be arriving soon, hope you enjoy it as much as I did to yours. Please write back soon.

Joyfully,

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb

**2014, January 1 st**

~~Newton~~ Dear Geiszler,

Happy new year’s, I wish for you a good years start. ~~I wish we could’ve celebrated it together~~ I hope to hear from you about the most recent Kaiju attack after the holidays. Get back to me ~~quickly~~ soon.

Sincerely,

Gottlieb

**2014, January 1 st**

~~Hermann~~ Dear Hermann,

 ~~I missed you~~ I’m having a good new year’s, but I’ve drank too much already, so I apologize ahead for what I might say. Do hope yours is going as good as mine is, mine feels kinda lonely but that might just be me. ~~Please tell me it’s not just me~~ We have to talk about the Kaiju’s soon, please write back to me.

With ~~love~~ a drunken gurgle,

Newton

**2014, January 19 th **

Dear Newton,

I’m wishing you a happy birthday, do enjoy it safely.

Sincerely,

Hermann

**2014, January 20 th **

Dear Hermann,

Thank you, it means a lot. Will write back again soon.

From,

Newton

**2014, April 25 th**

Dear Hermann,

Sorry for not writing to you for a couple days, I’m currently teaching at MIT and finals are kicking us in the ass both the students and teachers. I hear my students talking about the Kaiju attacks, they’ve seems to slow down for some reason, I think we should go over some of our notes some more. Again, I’m sorry for not writing back to you soon enough but can’t make any promises that I won’t do it again.

From the tired professor,

Newton    

  **2014, April 27 th **

Dear Newton,

I will admit I was worried, but I do understand your predicament. I’ve heard you’re an unorthodox professor but a good one at that, hope you do enjoy your profession. With the Kaiju’s I agree that we should go over our research again, although it seems that the Jaeger’s are working quite well. Do hope you are available to write back soon, yet I understand if you can’t.

Sincerely,

Hermann

**2014, May 15 th**

To Hermann,

I’m sorry but I’m drunk rn and I gotta ask you a thing before I wuss out of it again. Are we friends Herms? Or do we just use each other for hobbies or some shit because I like you a lot and I’d hate for it to all be like meaningless. Meaning is everything to me, it’s on my fucking skin just like everybody elses but I got too much Hermann everything means too much to me and it’s hard sometimes you know, it’s rough for me. . . I’m gonna delate this but I’m sorry Hermann, so sorry.

 Love, Newt

**2014, May 16 th**

Hermann, I swear to whatever god that I didn’t mean to send my previous letter—shit, I’m sorry to make you read my drunk rambling. Really hope this doesn’t stop you writing, ~~I don’t think I could handle that~~ if it does I understand. Sorry again.

From,

Newton Geiszler

**2014, May 17 th **

Dear Newton,

Please do not apologize, I will not stop writing to you, ~~as I don’t think I ever could if I wanted to~~ as you are the one closest and most meaningful friend that I’ve ever have had. I shall keep writing to you as long as you will write back to me so, please do write back soon Geiszler and preferably while not intoxicated.

Sincerely,

Hermann   

**2014, June 9 th**

Dear Hermann,

Happy Birthday! I just got email staying your gift has been delivered, hope this also can make up for the missing paperwork I meant to send you. How does it feel to be 25? You feel old yet Gottlieb? or is your science keeping you young—that’s how it makes me feel at least. Enjoy your birthday and write to me when you’re done with the festivities ;).

P.S. A student of mine showed me to make faces out of punctuation, thought you’d like it as much as I do.

With aging bones,

Newton

**2014, June 10 th**

Dear Newton,

As I should remind that you are indeed only a year younger than me, we should both be experiencing the same bodily consequences that go along with age. I did enjoy my birthday, as your gift yet again was a highlight of it—thank you, Newton, for the gift, it’s very unique. I would still like that paperwork, but I do have faith that you’ll find it before it’s absolutely dire. Respond as quickly as I’d like to discuss more about the Jaeger Academy.

P.S. Creating those faces have been around for a couple years already, however they are interesting and clever.

Sincerely,

Hermann

**2015, February 9 th**

Dear Newton,

Sorry if this is received late, but I wanted to tell you something before I had to leave; I’m joining the Jaeger Academy. Sorry for the late notice, I know we discussed that we were to join together but I couldn’t wait any longer to get my research into the right hands. Write back to you as soon as I’m settled in. Sorry again for going behind your back Newton.

With earnest,

Hermann

**2015, February 11 th**

Hermann,

I would’ve liked to have heard it from you first, rather than hearing from a colleague of mine that you joined without me. I’m not ~~that~~ upset that you didn’t tell me yourself, I do get to as why you didn’t. I know how much you’d fucking love to prove your father wrong, trust me I know you well enough that you don’t have to specifically say that you do. I do expect to hear from you again as soon as you get adjusted, I’m dying to know what the academy is like. Wish you a safe journey and a good time Hermann.

Your pal,

Newton

**2015, March 13 th**

To the addressing of Doctor Newton Geiszler,

We’d like to inform you that on behalf of our patient; Dr. Hermann Gottlieb has been injured and put under our care until betterment. As you were listed as his emergency contact, we shall inform you that Gottlieb’s injury isn’t fatal for it was caused by a minor incident. However, he might encounter temporary or permanent damage to the Patellar tendon and knee ligaments. He will improve with rest and medication, we will continue to inform you of his progress or our patient will, as he should come into contact with you again shortly. Do not worry as to he’s in very capable hands if you have any further questions please do call or email our facility.

From the care of,

PPDC Medical division 

**2015, March 26 th**

Dear Newton,

I’ve been sent home for a temporary leave from the Academy, but I should be back in a few weeks so don’t hold to much concern for me, as I am fine. Write back to me soon, I hope that our rapport can continue even after my prolonged absence.

Sincerely,

Hermann.  

**2015, March 26 th**

Hermann,

What happened to you? They contacted me, Hermann, I’m your emergency contact so of course, they told me—I didn’t know that I was that important to you. Please tell me what happened and how I am concerned as shit dude. Write back quickly.

-Newton

**2015, March 27 th **

Dear Hermann,

If you don’t write back I. Will. Spam. You. I’m only worried Hermann, I know you can’t forget that I’m also a doctor. Please just let me know if you’re alright.

-Newton

**2015, March 28 th **

Hermann, please.

**2015, March 29 th **

God-fucking-damn it, Gottlieb, I’m getting pissed and worried and those are two things that don’t mix well together. Write. Back.

**2015, March 30 th**

Please write back, you said you always would if I wrote back to you. Yet here I am writing, and you won’t write back! Why can’t you understand that I ~~love~~ care about you?

**2015, March 31 st **

Dear Gottlieb,

**_I’m sorry._ **

**2015, April 2 nd **

Dear Newton,

 ** _Please do stop apologizing, I don’t care_**. I say ‘I don’t care’ because It’s I who should be apologizing Newton, I threw a childish tantrum and my silence was unfair to you, so It’s on me to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to have you as my emergency contact and make you uncomfortable. As to why I did it, it’s because I’ll admit to you that you, Newton, are somebody I can trust, and it’s been a very long while since I’ve been able to put such trust into someone. If you’d like I will take you off as my emergency contact, but for further medical attention I have no need for it.

To answer your question about what happened, there was an incident between me and some others with Jaeger parts coming loose. The others came out of it fine, but a few of my knee ligaments tore and damaged some of the nerves in my leg. The doctors must’ve informed you that I will improve, and I have been, it's becoming a dull ache as days go along.

I’m sorry again for my behavior towards you Newton, I will keep my promise to always write back to you for as long as you write back to me. I’ll make sure to keep you posted about my injury as I know you are deeply concerned for me, thank you for that Newt.

I will not argue with you if you’ve made the decision to not ever write to me again. Yet I would very much appreciate it if we could continue.           

With sincere apologies and the deepest appreciation,

-Hermann

**2015, April 3 rd**

Hermann,

Do you believe in _seelenfreunds_? Or maybe soulmates for what you learned about. As I get older I can’t help but think about mine, I have too many words on my skin Hermann too much for even a single humans lifetime. I’d like for you to know I’m completely sober and I do really mean for everything I am saying and will say throughout this letter.

You really had me worried for a bit Hermann, I thought that I’ve finally gone and ruined everything between us. Hermann, I cannot ‘politely’ express the panic I felt when I was told that you were in the hospital, how that fear and panic didn’t go away until wrote back to me. You didn’t ‘make me uncomfortable’ and you didn’t scare me off by making me your emergency contact, you can keep me as your contact and I’ll probably make you mine—after my uncle Illia of course, and from the stories I’ve told you I know you’ll agree with me that my uncle could possibly go on a rampage if he didn’t get a call from the hospital before anyone else.

I’m very happy to hear about your healing leg, I’ll push you for more information in future letters but for now, I’ll let you doctor yourself—their may not be enough room in this ~~relationship~~ rapport for two bigheaded doctors to look after themselves.

As to you, I’ll keep writing to you—as you can already tell from my successful attempt in spamming you.

My concern for you hopefully is returned by you Hermann, as I’ll say again you mean something to me and me to you. Were figuring shit out on this near-apocalyptic hurtling space rock, and all the while people can have little connections like this, little things that the rest humanity doesn’t know of.

My decision for the future of our rapport was made the moment you started our correspondence, I would really ~~love~~ enjoy continuing to write to each other; as I hypothesize that this might be the thing keeping the two of us sane in these times of interdimensional war—funnily enough.    

I’ve said a lot, but I know this isn’t the longest you or I have written to each other. And I hope that it isn’t the last, as I do want to continue this correspondence.

P.S. All your apologies are always forgiven Herms, but I’m not gonna stop you from saying them.

From the most meaningful friend of Doctor Hermann Gottlieb,

-Newton :)

**2016, September 23 rd**

Hermann,

Guess who might’ve just quit their six-year teaching job; you’re right it’s me. And Hermann, before you start yelling at me in your next letter how stupid I’m being, I have a very good reason. I’ve joined the Jaeger Academy—and before you also go off on me about that, I think it’s about time for good-ol’Newton Geiszler to join the ranks. I wish you still stayed at the Academy, for we could’ve met up, but I’m glad that you can still work in your own safe environment—we can’t forget your leg incident. Write back to me quickly, and please don’t yell at me too much. I know what I’m doing Hermann, for I’m doing pretty great.

-Newton

**2016, October 6 th **

Newton,

I’ve made a discovery about the breach. I’ll explain to you further later as I’m writing everything down—but I wanted you to be the first to hear that I’ve found a way to measure the time lapse between Kaiju attacks. Please write back very soon Newton, for I’d love to talk to you about it over the phone.

-Herman

**2016, December 20 th**

Hermann,

The holidays are so fucking weird now in days, for its sad how many people celebrate it like it’s their last. Kinda wish that things weren’t this way, but in super selfishly way, I’m glad that we’ve met and started researching together. I’ll be away for a little bit for the holiday’s and spending time with Illia—I’ll try to write to you as much as I can, I know how much you ‘dislike’ the holidays and I can’t really argue with you on that. Please try to have at least a good holiday and hopefully my writing and my soon-to-be-arriving gift can make that happen.

Happy Holidays from your resident kaiju ‘nerd’ (as Illia calls me),

-Newton

**2016, December 25 th**

Newton,

Your gift had arrived in time when I was nearly about to leave my family’s home, as you keep telling me, I’ve been trying to have a good holiday and as you know my family is quite rude and difficult to deal with—or as you would say ‘the biggest assholes on this planet’, which is very inaccurate Newton, there are much bigger assholes on earth. Your present did cheer me up so like always, thank you, Newton, I really love it. Do hope your holiday is going better than mine, for I do miss hearing from you. If you’d like or can, I would like to call you later tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve heard ~~your voice~~ from you besides just letters. Enjoy the rest of your holiday with your uncle as I will try _for you_ to enjoy mine.

-Hermann

**2017, January 1 st **

Dear Newton,

I think we should meet.

-Hermann

**2017, January 1 st **

Dear Hermann,

I think we should too.

-Newton

**2017, January 2 nd **

Newton,

When?

-Hermann

**2017, January 2 nd**

Hermann,

October 12th, the anniversary of when we first started writing to each other.

-Newton

**2017, January 3 rd **

It’ll have been four years Newton.

**2017, January 3 rd**

Do you regret those four years Dr. Gottlieb?

**2017, January 3 rd **

Never. And what about you Dr. Geiszler, do you wish to take them back?

**2017, January 3 rd **

Same as you; never.

**2017, January 4 th **

Are we really going to do this Newton?

**2017, January 4 th**

Yes, I think we’ve waited long enough Hermann.

**2017, January 5 th **

Did you book tickets?

**2017, January 5 th**

Yep for October twelfth, think you can wait that long to see my pretty little face, Hermann?

**2017, January 5 th**

I don’t think I can wait another four more years if that’s what you are asking Newton.

**2017, January 5 th**

Nah just another nine months and seven days. And before you ask Hermann, I do have a countdown set for it.

**2017, January 5 th **

 Nearly five years Newton, and you still manage to make me equally happy and annoyed at once.

**2017, January 5 th**

That’s just how I am Herms, you should know this by now. And us setting up a date to meet doesn’t mean our rapport gets to stop, we’re still trying to stop the kaiju crisis.

**2017, January 5 th **

Of course, Dr. Newton Geiszler, business before pleasure as they say.

**2017, January 5 th **

God do never change Hermann, I’d miss your occasional sarcasm and ironic innuendos.

**2017, January 5 th**

As to you too, Newton, our correspondence wouldn’t ever be the same.

**2017, October 12 th **

Be seeing you soon Hermann. ;)

**2017, October 12 th **

I’ll be waiting.


	3. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first and maybe final meeting of Hermann and Newton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually killed me emotionally. . . I'm dead.
> 
> Enjoy!

**2017, October 12 th   **

Stepping off an airplane after a near eight-hour flight, a short man with arms full of unfinished tattoos looks around the airport with an excited yet slightly nervous expression.

Across the airport stands a young man who’s dressed like an older man, his gaze locked on the shorter man yet he’s still unseen.

People flood the airports terminal, soon after the hectic mass movement of people, the airport is empty except for the short man looking more disappointed as each prolonged minute passes.

Hidden out of sight, the formally dressed young man attempts to calm down his rapid breath. Pulling up his sleeve he reads over the bold words engraved into his skin, his thumb rubbing over one faded set of words—a sign that your soulmate had said them to you.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder the dressed-up man quickly pulls down his sleeve and puts on a hardened glare as he looks up at the hand's owner, face draining of all color at the sight.

“Hermann?” asks the short and tattooed man, a wry smile on his face that terribly disguises the man’s overwhelming happiness and relief.

Before Hermann can stop himself, his face reflects the other mans own, his body betraying his mind as his heart starts racing and his stomach flips with excitement and joy.

“Newton,” He says softly, his body betrays him yet again.

Smiling with his whole face, Newton drops his bags and throws his body into Hermann’s for a bone-crushing hug. Laughing lightly when Hermann lets of an ‘oof’ in the ferocity of the hug.

As his body keeps betraying him, Hermann’s arms wrap around Newtons slightly shaking frame, letting out his own wisp of laughter before he can stop himself. With his own body preventing him from letting of Newton, he lets himself soak up the other man’s existence as Hermann had been wishing for this moment to come true for three years.

The two scientists stay like that as more people pass by, many bystanders more worried about their flight than the first meeting of two love-blind idiots.

Mind finally winning over his heart, Hermann quickly pulls away from Newton, the shorter man looking up at Hermann with annoyance and confusion, “What?”

“We. . .We need to talk, Newton, please follow me,” Hermann tells Newton as he starts to follow his plan C.

Hermann’s original blue-sky plan was to meet Newton at the airport, take him out for coffee and talk about what they normally talk about in their letters, and then discuss with Newton about their soulmate predicament— to hopefully to establish something beyond a friendship.   

Yet as soon as Newt stepped away from the crowd and Hermann saw him—well he needed to run away, to leave and cut off all ties with the other doctor.

The years of pain his soulmates words have caused him, his awareness on how painfully and poetically beautiful Newton is both inside and now _outside_. His crippling self-consciousness and insecurities hitting him full force at the realization that _Newton_ — _his_ Newton, his first and _most meaningful_ _friend_ and now _soulmate_ are the same person, hurt him down to his very fibers of bone. 

So, his plan B was; Runaway and cut all ties with Newton.

However, he couldn’t _make_ himself leave until it was too late.

So, he created a plan C; Lie to Newton and piss him off—which is easy to do for Hermann, let Newton leave Hermann _himself_ , then go back home to try and destroy, to forget any memory or feelings he has for his longtime friend and soulmate.

Hermann knows how borderline brilliant Newton is, so he doubts that Newton, the man with six doctorates _hadn’t_ figured out who his soulmate was, is highly unlikely.

To Hermann his plan C is a great plan because only _he’s_ affected, _he’s_ the one in love with Newton, Newton’s not in love with _him_.

But Hermann should’ve known with his own borderline brilliantness that Newton’s never just goes along with other people’s plans.

After they reach a secluded part of the airport. Hermann attempts to anger Newton are only making Newton more annoyed than anything else.

“What the hell are you even talking about Herms? Are you purposefully trying to piss me off? I just got here dude,” Newton questions as he stands up, looks at Hermann with a small smile on his lips and annoyed look in his eyes.

“I-I know,” Stumbles Hermann, avoiding Newtons angered and near-pleading eyes.

Sighing Newtons sits himself back down next to Hermann, a comforting hand on the other mans arm, “Tell me what your thinking about dude, we both know that I didn’t just get on a plane to end up with you berating me the entire visit,” Newton points out with a soft smile as his tries to make eye contact with Hermann, “Come on Herms, four years of sappy letters sent back and forth and all you give me is silence and insults. Talk to me Hermann, I deserve more than that, or I’m just gonna get back on that plane and go home and I think we both wouldn’t really want that.”

Taking a deep breath and ignoring his hearts pleading, Hermann looks up at Newton’s hopeful expression that nearly stops what Hermann’s about to say next. . .but it’s not enough.

“Maybe it would be better if that’s what you did,” Hermann tells Newton his words coming out colder than he expected.

It doesn’t even take Newton half a second before his eyes cloud over with hurt and anger, “What the fuck are you talking about Herms? Why did I come here if you didn’t even want me in the first place?” Newton asks as he gets out of his seat to start pacing anxiously.

“Why did _you_ want to come and visit me?” He cringes slightly at his childish retort but holds himself strong.

Newton stops his pacing and turns to glare at Hermann, “Because I _like_ you? Maybe because were fucking soulmates Hermann, did you know that?”

“Yes, I did.”

Newton gawks and turns to fully face Hermann, “And you didn’t think to share that with the rest of the class?” He scoffs when the other man weakly shrugs, “When some of my words faded it was both the worst and best day of my life! And you let me go on thinking that it was a one-sided bond.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do Newton!” Hermann shouts as he stands up, “I started talking to you for information, research purposes. The partnership I was expecting from you was _just_ a correspondence, possibly a close rapport. But the farthest thing I was expecting was a soulmate Newton. _I_ got the one thing I never- _ever_ wanted.”

“Four years and they all meant _nothing_ to you? What happened to ‘never’ Hermann?” Newton says as his voice starts to fluctuate in pitch.

Hearing Newton’s painfully hurt tone, Hermann’s body fills with guilt for what he’s doing. He silently berates himself for once again ruining his chance with someone he loves and hates how he’s too far deep that he can’t dig himself or Newton out of it.

“What happened Herms!” Newton shouts at Hermann.

“ ** _I can’t love you!_** ” Yells back Hermann, instantly shutting his mouth as he watches Newton’s whole body harshly recoil away from him.

Hermann can’t see his words fade on Newton, but from what he sees from Newton’s expression _it hurts_.

After a minute passes and the pain etched into Newton fades along with the words, Hermann stands still as Newton picks up his bags and starts to leave back towards the terminals.

Snapping out of his own world, Hermann goes after Newton as fast as his leg will let him.

“Newton wait! Please, I’m so sorry I didn’t possibly mean to say that,” Hermann calls after Newton as he catches up fairly quickly. Reaching out and grabbing Newton’s arm, the shorter man turns to angrily look at Hermann, tears already pouring out of Newton’s eyes.

Shocked and saddened to see Newton crying, Hermann lets his arm fall back to his side.

Newton stands as his chest heaves with withheld sobs, “I’ve had those words on my skin since I was eight Gottlieb. I should’ve known that you couldn’t have loved me back,” Newton sneers.

Both joy in hearing that Newton loves him and utter guilt for hurting such a wonderful person. Hermann reaches out once again for Newton, “Newt. . . I do love-,”

Newton yanks his arm out of Hermann’s grasp, “No, **_Fuck. You._** Hermann, you _can’t_ say that to me, not now— _not ever_.”

With that, Newton’s hardened glare turns to one of misery as he leaves Hermann alone outside the terminals.

Numb to the world, Hermann barely feels Newton’s words fading, his only pain in his heart as it feels broken.

He pulls down his sleeve and once again looks at the words scrawled across his skin. As begins to read them all again, he feels like he’s suddenly transported back to when he was eight. He finishes reading them by reading the last one on the back of his hand, the one he constantly covers, the one he’s found comfort in as he got older and felt more and _more_ alone.

The one that he can’t believe in anymore. 

**‘ _I love you, Hermann_.’ **

His family was right, theirs only hate left for him. Never love.

Yet Hermann still loved Newton.

* * *

 

Amazingly Newton’s able to get tickets back the next morning. He thanked his heartbroken appearance, his red puffy eyes, the dried tear-tracks that go on for miles and the fact that it’s obvious to tell if someone’s words had faded.

While Newt waits for the next morning he watches numbly as the tv screen above him broadcasts the most recent Jaeger victory. He reminds himself to write to Hermann about it—how proud he should be about his accomplishments.

It takes Newton a minute before he remembers that he _can’t ever_ write to Hermann again, especially how they used too. Newton roughly rubs at his eyes until he sees stars, he can’t—won’t start crying again, especially since Hermann _lied_ about everything, how he was going to continue to lie about how much he _loves_ Newton. His feels betrayed, pissed and angry at Hermann for everything that went down for a supposed fun and life-changing vacation.

He can’t find any meaning in the words written onto the back of his hand, the constantly hidden away words, the words that he woke up to the day after his birthday and cried out in happiness, the words that helped motivate him on days where he barely felt alive.

The words that are now meaningless.

**‘ _I love you, Newton._ ’**

His uncle was wrong, words never meant anything to him. Not ever. 

Yet Newton still held meaning for Hermann.


End file.
